


Sick Boy

by BeepBeepSam



Series: A Loser's Development [2]
Category: IT (2017)
Genre: Angst, Bullying, F/M, First Love, Fluff, Homosexuality, M/M, Relationship through the ages, School, Smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-12
Updated: 2019-03-12
Packaged: 2019-10-26 09:19:39
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 20,608
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17743172
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BeepBeepSam/pseuds/BeepBeepSam
Summary: A requested one shot of Bill and Eddie's relationship from my main fic, Only a Prayer Nothing More. This starts when they're younger and explores how their relationship comes to be.This can be read as a stand alone story, but there are some spoilers to my main fic.





	Sick Boy

When Eddie was ten, he thought Bill Denbrough was the bravest person he had ever met. 

Eddie had been taught that the outside world is full of evils and diseases and that it was safest in the comfort in his own home. His mother wasn't a big fan of letting him go out to play; too scared that he would come in contact with a virus she couldn't save him from or injure himself in a way she couldn't fix. He stayed in his room for the majority of summers and weekends, watching the other kids ride their bikes and run along the streets below his bedroom window. 

He didn't have very many friends, and the ones he did, he only talked to at school. At home, he was always alone.

Watching the kids play below him always made him feel sad, but he continued to watch, too curious to spare himself the depression from his lonely free time. 

His mother would buy him books and games he could play by himself, but they piled on his desk, never to be touched while he sat in his seated window to watch the world he was not allowed to enter. 

One of his favorite people to watch was Bill Denbrough. Eddie knew Bill from school. They weren't in the same class, but Bill had a reputation. He was known to stand up against the older kids, even the Bowers gang. He was often picked first for any gym game that even hinted towards athleticism. He wasn't the smartest, but everyone always wanted to be his partner for any group work. He was arguably the most popular kid in fifth grade. 

One thing that got Bill his famous standing, was his title of "Truth or Dare King."

It was common knowledge that Bill has never not done a dare. Eddie has first-handedly seen him eat dirt (which had made Eddie gag), and lick a swing set (at this point, Eddie had had to flee back into the building from recess, not able to witness the spectacle in front of him, despite being impressed by Bill's braveness.)

Bill always had people around him, especially his best friend Richie Tozier. Richie was vile and Eddie didn't understand how Bill could hang around him. He had no manners and was often the one to dare Bill to do the gross dares. The most vile thing about Richie was his mouth. He had no filter and had what his mother would call a "sailor's vocabulary." Richie had been the cause of his first lecture about bad words and why they're inappropriate. 

The most surprising detail about Bill's popularity was that his stutter did not hinder it. Many adults and teaches expected him to be picked on for his inability to get through a sentence without faltering, but it was like everybody chose to ignore it. Even Bill himself has never mentioned it. It just goes unspoken why the teacher skips over letting Bill read aloud. 

Bill and Richie could often be seen racing down the street on their bikes. They all lived in the same neighborhood, so it was often that Eddie could catch a glimpse of the two getting up to shenanigans. 

Eddie often imagined going outside and joining them. But he didn't have a bike and that was their main source of transportation. There would be no way he could keep up. 

So instead, he sat at his window and watched them as they zipped by, laughing and hollering, the warm air making their faces flushed and the summer wind leaving their hair a mess. 

~~~~ 

One cooler than normal summer day, Eddie and his mother were outside. His mother was supposed to be working on the small garden that she kept trying to make happen in the planters in front of the porch. It was one of the only times Eddie was allowed to play outside, under the watchful eye of his mother. He never really knew what to do when he was allowed to play outside. All the outside games he knew required at least another person. He had no desire to play in the dirt which left him on the porch or on the driveway and concrete was still burning hot, which meant the porch.

He had non-toxic chalk in his hand, halfheartedly making small drawings on the stone steps leading up to porch. His mother had applied layer after layer of sunscreen on him, and it left him feeling greasy and sweaty. But the sun felt good on his skin anyway. 

He had been sitting out there for twenty minutes, feeling antsy to do something, but not knowing what. 

It was about this time when he heard the familiar laughs and cackles of Bill and Richie. They were obviously in a race on their bikes, with Bill keeping his small lead to the end of the block. They don't notice him sitting there as he watches them almost jealously. But to Eddie's surprise, they do notice him when they make their way back, riding slower for the pleasure of it, not the speed. 

"Hey! Do you want to play with us?" Richie calls from where they've stopped in front of their lawn, gazing up at him. Eddie feels his heart start to race and excitement shoots through him.  

But then disappointment.

"But I don't have a bike," He explains and gestures towards the boys who are balancing themselves where they are temporarily parked. They all have the same slumped shoulders at his answer. That is until Bill speaks up. 

"I j-j-just got a new b-b-bike. You c-c-c-can use my old o-one," Bill says and Richie whoops in excitement of a new playmate. 

Eddie's eyes light up at the revelation, and he glances towards his mother, who has fallen asleep in her lawn chair, shaded from the sun under the porch roof. If he asks, he know she would never allow him to go. But if he doesn't ask, she can't say no. He gets up and dusts off the chalk dust that had collected on his lap. 

He hesitates before he walks down the steps. 

"Hold on just one moment," He says and runs inside. He grabs the fanny pack that his mother taught him to start wearing when he was younger. In it, is an inhaler for his asthma, allergy pills, sunscreen, and a first aid kit. He only ever takes it with him when he's going somewhere outside of school. He got picked on too much for wearing it, and his teachers insisted they had the exact same supplies should he need them. 

He clips it around his waist, feeling safer now that he has supplies in case anything were to happen. It eases his queasiness about not telling his mother where he's going. 

He comes back outside to find Richie and Bill talking amongst themselves, waiting patiently for him. He walks down the steps and heads towards them. If they notice his fanny pack, they don't mention it. 

They walk towards Bill's house because Eddie is too nervous to climb on to the back of Bill's bike. The last thing he needs is a scrape for his mother to obsess over for the next week. He doesn't feel like making a trip to the hospital.

Bill's house is nice. Eddie's seen it before from times that he's driven by it to see Bill outside playing or doing chores. Richie's house is on the next block over 

They don't actually go in, they just enter the open garage. In the corner is Bill's old bike, sitting there to just collect dust.

They take it outside, and Richie drags over the hose while Bill turns it on. They let Eddie take the nozzle and wash it off himself. It takes longer than it would if Bill or Richie were the ones doing it. He makes sure to spry off all the dust and cobwebs. getting all the crooks and crannies. By the time he's done, it almost looks like a new bike. 

 However, his excitement is short lived when they make their way to the street, Bill and Richie easily mounting their bikes while Eddie almost falls over swinging his leg over. He catches himself and his face is burning as they stare at him, but it's not from the sun's rays. 

"I- I'm sorry, I don't know how," Eddie said. 

"Wait, hold on. You're ten years old and you don't know how to ride a bike? What a-Ow!" Richie yelps when Bill elbows him sharply, glaring at him for picking on Eddie. Eddie kicks the stand down, making sure the bike is stable before he lets go.

"I want to go home," He says and he hates the way his voice wobbles. He shouldn't feel like crying, but it feels like his only chance at finally hanging out with friends has come to a quick end. He sniffs and begins to walk back towards his house. 

"W-wait! W-w-we can t-t-teach you," Bill interjects quickly, hopping off his own bike and letting clatter to the ground. Eddie stops and looks at Bill with wide teary eyes. Richie shrugs and climbs off his bike as well. 

"Welcome to the losers club, Eddie."

The rest of the afternoon is spent with Bill and Richie taking turns holding onto the bike's handlebars as Eddie gets used to pumping the pedals and staying upright. Bill has far more patience than Richie does, but they all have fun and laugh at Eddie's clumsiness. Hours go by in a heartbeat, and before he knows it, he's able to ride a little bit on his own if he gets a good push from one of the others. The sun is starting to go down, and Richie leaves, going home to find something to eat for dinner. 

Eddie realizes how long he's been away from home and he feels dread at the thought of facing his mother when he goes back. Bill walks next to him, showing him how to walk the bike without getting hit in the legs with the pedals. 

"How are you going to walk it back if you're bringing yours too?" Eddie asks as they start the small journey back to Eddie's. 

"You c-c-can just keep it a-at yours," Bill shrugs and Eddie grins in excitement. Keeping the bike at his house means he'll have to see Bill again to give it back. 

They walk in silence, both feeling the exhaustion that comes with playing all day in the sun. 

They stop outside of Eddie's house. The lights are already on despite the sun just starting to go down. He can see the faint shape of his mother's silhouette through the curtains. 

"S-s-see ya later?" Bill asks and Eddie smiles and nods. He watches as Bill climbs onto his bike and races off back towards his house. He watches until he's out of sight. Then he turns back to his house. He realizes that he has to hide the bike because there's no way his mother will be okay with him having it. He takes it around the house and stashes it behind the shed that neither him or his mother have entered in years. She would have no reason to come check behind it. 

He runs back to the front of the house and up the steps, pushing the front door open.

"Eddie?! Oh, thank god! Yes, he's here, he just walked in, thank you," His mother gasps into the phone pressed against her ear before she hanging up and feeling his small body against her in a tight hug. 

"I was so worried, where have you been?! I woke up and you were gone, with no note or anything. I couldn't even report you as missing, some stupid rule about 24 hours," She frowns and pulls back enough to stare him down. 

"I was with some friends," He says and he has to force himself not to smile at the idea of calling Bill, and even Richie, a friend. 

"Friends? No, Eddie-bear, that's not okay. Do you know how many diseases you can get from other kids? Or lice? Not to mention how small you are, they can easily hurt you. I know I taught you to be smarter than this," She lectures, and Eddie dips his head in shame, but it's more of an act than anything. He would do it all over again if he could. 

His mother sends him to his room and she hovers over all his movements for the next two weeks, but after his constant pestering, she allows him to go over to Bill's again as long as he calls twice an hour and comes back frequently so she can check on him. Bill and, even Richie, seem happy to see him again and have no trouble helping him meet the demands of his mother. Bill lets him come inside to use their phone and they go with him every time he has to go check in. 

It only takes a couple of more lessons before Eddie able to ride on his own, even if he does hesitate going the speed that Richie and Bill do. They ride all over town, exploring areas Eddie has never seen and Richie even introduces him to the arcade he spends all his money at. 

However, his favorite times are when Bill invites him over and they just hang out, the two of them. Bill shows Eddie the comic collection he has, and they relax in his room, laying on the bed and sitting on the floor as they read one after the other. 

It's towards the end of the summer that Sonia Kasprak finds out about Eddie's bike. He had walked home that day, leaving it at Bill's because they hadn't been riding them that day. 

The doorbell rings while he's eating dinner with his mother. He follows behind her when she goes to open the door and it's Bill...with the bike. 

Eddie feels his face pale and he starts to furiously shake his head, hoping Bill will understand but the message is lost. 

"Hello, Miss K-Kaspbrak, Eddie l-l-left his bike at m-my house today," He explains and Eddie shrinks, waiting for his mother's reaction. 

"Eddie doesn't have a bike, those things are just a broken bone waiting to happen. What on earth are you talking about?" She glances at both boys and Bill looks at Eddie guiltily, realizing too late the secret he was trying to keep. 

"Eddie, tell him it's not yours," And there's a challenging look in her eye when she looks at him.

"It is mine, Ma," He says quietly.

"Excuse me? Eddie, you know the rules. I can't believe you would disobey me like this, and to lie about it! You can go up to your room, you're grounded until further notice," She snaps and her face is flushed from her anger. 

"Mommy, please," He starts but she fixed his with a sharp look that immediately quiets him. 

"M-Miss Kaspbrak?" Both of their heads turn to where Bill is standing in the doorway, looking awkward.

"What?" She irritably snaps. 

"Eddie r-really is a g-good rider. He h-hasn't fallen off o-o-once. Plus, b-bikes are great f-f-for p-physical exercise which is r-really healthy and h-he could get to s-school faster than w-w-walking," He says, his voice soft and Eddie is shocked to actually see his mother's shoulders relax slightly. 

"Thank you, William. You can leave the bike here and we will discuss what to do with it after Eddie's punishment," She says and Eddie's heart jumps. She would have made Bill take it with him if she had no intention of letting him keep it. 

Bill smiles, feeling triumphant as he leaves, walking down the street back home. 

Eddie stays grounded for the rest of summer, but he meets Bill and Richie at school, riding up to them in the bike he no longer has to sneak around. 

~~~

When Bill Denbrough was 12, he thought Eddie Kaspbrak was the most trustworthy person he has ever met. 

Him and Eddie have been friends for two years now, still riding their bikes all over town and reading comics, but also listening to music albums and swimming at the quarry with Richie, and occasionally Mike Hanlon. 

Mike was home schooled because he helped his family on the farm too much to be gone for 7 hours at a time each day. Bill met him when he came into town to pick up some groceries and had run into the other boy . They were friends before they even left the store. Since then, he's asked Mike to come hang out regularly, feeling ecstatic when Mike can actually make it. 

Over these past two years, Bill feels like him and Eddie have gotten especially close. While Richie is fun to be around, and Bill knows he can trust him if he ever needed anything, it's Eddie that he goes to when he has a problem. 

This time it's his parents. 

His parents aren't bad parents. Sure, he wishes they would pay more attention to him, but he knows he has it better than Richie who's parents are never home. At least his parents are always in the same house as him. 

But lately, all they seem to want to do is fight. He's woken up almost every single night, hearing them shout and yell and, occasionally, break things. He can never even really tell what they're fighting about, it's a different reason every time. His Dad came home late, his mother spent too much when she went shopping, they don't have the money for the rent this month. 

One thing he knows, though, is that they never fight about him. It's not that he wants them to fight about him, or fight at all, even. But they fight about what to do with the house, and the car, and the money, but he's never once heard them argue about what they're going to do with him. At first, he was pleased. That meant that he was a good kid and that didn't have to worry about him. But then he heard that one word that made his stomach drop. Divorce. 

If his parents divorced, would they fight over who would keep him? They haven't so far. Maybe they would let him decide, but he wouldn't have any idea how to choose. 

He doesn't want his parents to divorce. No kid does. 

He loves them and he wants them to be happy. Which is why he doesn't go to them when he's struggling in school, or Bowers tripped him and made him bust his lip open. If he doesn't mention it, they hardly ever notice anyway. 

As the weeks go by, he finds himself getting less and less sleep, staying awake to not only hear them fight, but now his anxiety clouds his mind on what's to come. He tries to play it cool, not wanting to bother his friends when he knows they have it just as bad or even worse. 

But he knows that Eddie must notice that something is off because Bill catches him watching him more and more often. He notices it when they're in class and Bill can't help but start to doze off before he feels those eyes on the side of his face. As soon as he knows that Eddie's watching, he tries to act as normal as possible. Playing off an almost doze off as a stretch and a smile. But he has a feeling that he's not fooling Eddie. 

He's proven right one night when they're all staying the night at his. The great thing about having parents that don't really pay attention to you, is that they don't care how often or how many friends you have over. Richie and Eddie are spending the night, after weeks of pleading to Sonia Kaspbrak, and Mike can stay pretty late, but he's choosing not to stay the night since he has to be up early to help with the animals on his farm. 

The night goes like their usual sleepovers do. They come over after school and spend their afternoon racing on their bikes and going to the arcade. If it was warmer, they would go for a dip in the quarry. 

Once the sun starts to go down, they head back to Bill's, ordering pizza and raiding Bill's cabinets for snacks to eat while they watch movie after movie. They camp out in Bill's den, planning to move to his bedroom when they decide to go to bed. 

Richie will drink too many sodas and go on a sugar high for about an hour before he crashes and passes out. Eddie and Bill usually play some kind of prank on him. They've put peanut butter in his hair and one time, they rubbed oil on his feet, making him fall over the minute he stood up the next morning. 

But while Richie's asleep, Eddie and Bill have had their most important talks. 

Eddie has shared about his overprotective mother and how suffocated he feels in that household. They talk about Henry Bowers and the bullying that takes place at school. They talk about their worry for Richie and his inability to take care of himself and having nobody to do it for him. They talk about how overworked Mike is for a thirteen-year-old boy. 

 But they have never talked about Bill.

For the first part of the night, things are okay. They continue to watch movies after Richie has passed out, finishing their snacks and making jokes. However, the mood is interrupted when a loud crash comes from the kitchen. Bill cringes, and he keeps his eyes forward, trying not acknowledge it. But Eddie looks panicked, and he can't ignore that. 

"Bill?" Eddie whispers, and his eyes widen when the yelling starts just like it does every night. 

"I'm s-s-so sorry, Eddie. I thought t-that they wouldn't d-d-do this if you g-guys were here," Bill mumbles and his face is red, embarrassed that Eddie has to witness his parents' tantrums. 

"Do they do this a lot?" Eddie hesitates, scooting closer to Bill on the couch they're sitting on. 

"Yea," Bill sighs defeated now that his secret is out. 

"Bill, you should have said something. Is this what's been buggin' you lately?" Eddie asks.

Bill nods. "There's n-nothing you c-can do about it, s-s-so I didn't see the p-point."

"Yea, but talking about it helps. It makes me feel better when I tell you guys about my mom."

Bill turns to looks at him. "It does?"

This time, it's Eddie's turn to nod. 

"I-I think they're g-going to get a d-d-divorce," Bill starts and Eddie looks at him sympathetically. 

"I'm so sorry, Bill. I know that's got to be tough," Eddie says and Bill is surprised to find that he doesn't feel like Eddie's tone is fake or forced. He genuinely sounds distressed for Bill's situation. 

"They j-just keep fighting. I-I don't know what to d-d-do," Bill explains, and Eddie's right. He already feels better even though he hasn't done anything to fix his problem. 

"Have you tried talking to them? Maybe they don't realize how much they're bugging you," Eddie suggests.

"They d-don't really pay m-much attention t-to me," Bill admits and Eddie sadly sighs.

They talk for the rest of the night, well, Bill talks. Eddie gives him the most supportive ear and lets out small hums and nods of his head to let Bill know he's listening. It's the first time Bill has ever opened up to anyone like this, and once he's done, he feels like a weight has been lifted off of his shoulders. He talks about the pressure of school and dealing with bullies without trying to bother his parents. He talks about feeling responsible for when Eddie or Richie gets hurt by the Bowers gang. He talks about not feeling like his problems are as severe as Eddie's or Richie's or Mike's.

"It's not a competition, Bill. We all have our own problems. It doesn't mean that yours aren't important," Eddie explains when Bill finally feels like he's done. He would feel guilty about unloading all of this on Eddie, but Eddie has shown nothing but support and has even prompted Bill to continue when his sentences seemed to die off. 

Eddie never seems bored or annoyed. He gives Bill his full attention, and Bill is so thankful for him.

There never comes a solution to the situation, but they both go to sleep that night feeling more content. Eddie is happy that Bill finally opened up to him about something serious, and Bill feels good about finally opening up. 

~~~

The next week, Bill has finally had enough. 

He wakes up, like usual, to hear a slamming of a door, only to be open again and more screaming to follow. 

He groggily slips out of bed and pads down the stairs, watching from his spot as his parents continue to go at it, not even noticing his presence. 

"Enough!" He finally snaps. Both of their heads turn towards him. 

"I haven't been getting any sleep and I am so sick and tired of hearing you guys fight about every single thing! Get the divorce or don't, but please stop the fighting! I just want to get through one night without the being woken up!" He rants and he pants when he's done. Both of them are looking at him in shock. Finally, his mom approaches him slowly, cupping his face softly. 

"You didn't even stutter," She says quietly, staring at him with a small smile. His eyebrows raise at the statement and he realizes she's right. Behind him, his dad rubs a hand down his face, and sighs.

"Bill, we're not getting a divorce," He says and he and his mother turn to look at him. 

"Y-You're not?" And they all let out a defeated sigh when the stutter reappears. 

"No. Look, I'm not going to lie. Things are tough right now. I lost my job, and I've been having trouble finding another," His dad admits, and Bill feels anxiety swell up in his chest. 

"What are w-we going to do?" He asks, looking from parent to parent for guidance. 

"You are going to go back to bed. We'll figure it out, without the yelling this time," His mom butts in, giving a pointed look at his dad. "You don't need to worry about it. It's going to be okay."

He nods and goes when she presses a hand on his back, gently pushing him towards the stairs. He complies and casts a look back over his shoulder. It's the first time they've felt like a family in awhile. 

They're both gone when he wakes up, just like always. But the fighting stops and he finally gets a full night's sleep for the first time in weeks. They must have handled it like they promised because they continue to pay their bills and live in their house. He couldn't even tell you what new job his father has. But he's okay with that. He didn't expect things to change just because he confronted them. As long as he has his friends, he'll be okay. 

~~~

When Eddie was 15, he thought Bill was the stupidest person he ever met. 

They're freshmen now, and they've expanded their friend group over the summer. Ben Hanscom was a new kid who they adopted into their circle, and with him came Beverly Marsh. 

Eddie has no problem with Beverly. She's nice and braver than him, but Beverly has baggage. It's no secret that she's the most talked about girl in the school, rumors spreading around about all the boys she's been with. So being friends with Beverly Marsh is not helping his plan to keep his head down and get through high school without being noticed. 

Eddie's been dreading high school for as long as he can remember. He knows that it's a place full of judgment and embarrassment. Plus, his mother has informed him of all the diseases that can be transmitted. Stuff like "kissing disease" makes him ready to go to school in a plastic bubble. He knows his mother would be all for it. But instead, he packs two bottles of Purrell and some alcoholic wipes. 

The first day of school comes with stares and whispers. He walks in the front doors and his face immediately flushes when all eyes turn to him. He keeps his eyes turned downwards, walking quickly to where Bill's locker is. The boy is already standing there, unloading notebooks and pencils. 

"Why is everybody staring at me?" He whispers, glancing around to see if anyone was watching them currently. 

Bill casts him a guilty expression. "School f-found out that B-Bev's been hanging out w-with us," He explains. 

Eddie chews on his lip. He knew he couldn't avoid it forever. Someone would eventually see the six of them hanging out and that it wouldn't look good for one girl to be hanging out with a group of five boys. 

Someone whistles as they walk by and Eddie cringes. He hopes his mother doesn't find out. 

"It's s-s-so stupid. Why does it m-matter who any of us h-hang out with?" Bill snaps, letting his locker slam shut. He walks with Eddie on the way to his own locker. Richie must have just arrived, because he joins in their small walk. 

"Liking the attention? We're practically famous now," He jokes and winks at girl who's been staring at them. Her face turns red and she falls into conversation with the girl beside her. 

"Beep beep, Richie. It's not funny. They all think we're perverts," Eddie mumbles.

Richie snorts. "Hardly. They're all in shock at the idea that you might be getting some," Richie laughs and dodges the swing that Eddie makes towards him. 

They finish putting their stuff up and make their way to their morning classes. 

~~~

When Eddie gets his lunch tray, he makes his way out to the cafeteria. The others are already sat together, and, of course, Bev is with them. He knew he could only hope that Bev would leave them alone after all the attention that morning, but apparently not. He sets down his tray before pulling out his wipes. He wipes down all the areas he can reach, disinfecting everything he might touch. Nobody says anything about it, knowing that Eddie has a thing against germs. 

She give him a small smile when he sits down next to Bill, knowing that he's the most uncomfortable with all the stares. 

The majority of their lunch goes well. They talk about their classes and the clubs they've joined. Ben joined the track club, not caring about the laughs that came when he wrote his name down. He still had a lot of his baby fat, and was no where near the shape of a runner. But he seems excited about it, and the losers are nothing but supportive of him.

Richie seems content with spending the majority of his time in the art room, with his new and undeveloped talent that the losers only found out about last year. They had ambushed Richie at his house when he was late in showing up to the arcade (which was unheard of) and they found him in his room, bent over a drawing, completely lost to the world. When he had seen them, he had jumped up and flipped the page over, but with some insistence from them, he reluctantly showed them. Praises and encouragement from the others has made him more inspired to practice his skills. 

Bill was going to try out for the baseball team and everyone low key expected him to be the only freshman to make varsity.

Bev was determined to prove that women could be powerful and influential despite the things said about them and was planning on joining student council. 

Mike is still home schooled, leaving Eddie. Eddie has no idea what he plans on doing or if there's even anything he would like to do. High school offers a lot more extra curricular activities, but Eddie has yet to find the thing he likes to do. 

He's lost in this thought when suddenly something really cold is being poured over his head. He gasps and everyone turns in shock to see Henry Bowers standing in behind him, holding a now empty milk carton. 

Bill immediately stands and faces Henry, while Eddie is still trying to grasp what's just happened. The milk is starting to stick to his skin, and all he can think about is the bacteria growing, the smell of rotten milk clogging his nose despite its freshness. He vaguely hears Richie saying something to him, but it feels like he has cotton in his ears. 

He's dirty and gross and he needs to get it off. 

"Okay, Eddie, it's okay, let's just go to the bathroom and we'll clean ya right off, okay?' Richie's voice breaks through the muffled chaos and he sounds concerned. Eddie feels like he's having trouble breathing and he keeps gagging, thinking about the milk settling in his clothes and hair. 

He manages to walk with Richie and Ben to the boy's bathroom and as soon as they go in, they're peeling off Eddie's shirt. Ben runs to go get Eddie's gym bag to grab an extra shirt for him while Richie grabs paper towel after paper towel, wiping off any milk residue he sees. Eddie knows he won't feel truly okay until he can go home and take about five showers, but he appreciates the gestures, especially the ones coming from Richie. 

Ben returns quickly and a new shirt is pulled over his head before he's even caught his breath. He already feels much better, but before he can even process it, he's crying. He hates that having some milk spilled on him is enough to make him have a panic attack. He hates that he can't handle a mess and germs like other boys his age. He's such a wuss. 

"How are ya feelin' now, Eds?" Richie asks and it's weird to hear him speak with such a soft voice. 

Eddie shrugs and welcomes the hug that he's wrapped in by the other two. He doesn't know what he would ever do without his friends. Speaking of friends, he begins to wonder what happened to Bill and Beverly. The question is answered when the exit the bathroom and Bev is sitting against the wall. She jumps up and meets them halfway, raking her eyes over Eddie to see if there was any mental breakdown still present before hugging him.

"Where's Bill?" Eddie asks, looking down the hallway both ways. Bev cringes. 

"He's with the principal. He tackled Bowers as soon as he got up and they got into a pretty serious fight. There was blood all over the floor when the janitor finally pulled them apart. But it looked like most of it was coming from Henry," She explains and Eddie panics. Bill can't get into trouble for him. He's supposed to be a star athlete, and he can't do that if he's expelled. 

They all walk over the principal's office, peeking into the window to see if they can catch a glimpse of Bill, but he's nowhere to be seen. 

The bell rings, and they all look at each hesitantly, unsure if they should try to find Bill and help explain what happened or if they should go on to their next class. 

Finally, they decide that there's not much they can do if they don't even know where he is, and they all head into different directions. 

~~~

Eddie leaves the building, feeling the leftover milk and grime from the day building up on his skin. He walks over to the bike stand, eager to get home and shower. 

"Eddie!" Bill calls, and Eddie whips his head around to see Bill coming out of the building too. 

"What are you doing here? I thought you'd get suspended," Eddie asks. He looks over at Bill and eyes all the bruises and cuts that he can see. Bill has a big bruise near his eye, on his cheekbone. His lip is busted, in the same place Bowers always gets him. There's blood on his shirt, but it doesn't look like it's Bill's. 

"He g-gave me a warning since it's m-my first offense. And since B-Bowers initiated it b-by pouring the m-milk. You know. S-Stutter perks," He says and grins. Since they were younger, they all joked about Bill's ability to never get into trouble. Adults seemed to always take it easy on his because of his stutter, despite the crime. 

"Jesus, Bill," Eddie frowns and grabs Bill's chin to get a better look at the damage. 

"It's n-not that bad. Bowers l-looks worse," He boasts, but his smile drops when Eddie doesn't look any happier. "Eddie?"

"Why would you do that, Bill? You know you can't be getting into fights if you want to play baseball. I can't believe you'd be such an idiot and risk all that just for some fight against Bowers. God, you can be so stupid sometimes" Eddie lectures and lets go of Bill's chin to walk away. He's not mad, per say. He knows that Bill can handle Henry. He can't even pinpoint why he's upset. Just seeing Bill like that makes his stomach twist in knots and he's taking it out on the only person he can. Bill. 

"Hey, w-wait. It's not j-j-just some fight. He was b-bullying you, and y-you're my best friend. I wasn't g-going to let him g-get away with that," Bill says as he jogs to catch up. Eddie stops. 

"I'm your best friend?" He asks, losing all of the fire that he had pent up. 

"Sure." 

"What about Richie?" Eddie asks. 

Bill shrugs. "You're b-both my best friends. But y-you know more about m-me, and I'm p-pretty sure I know more about you," He explains like it's common knowledge and not making Eddie's heart beat faster. He's Bill's best friend. 

He hasn't been able to understand it, but lately, he's been feeling...things around Bill. Things that you're not supposed to feel your best friend. His heart races anytime they touch and he finds himself staring at Bill more and more. He's just so pretty. Eddie frowns when he thinks that. He thinks Bill is pretty? Can boys even think other boys are pretty? His head is starting to hurt when he thinks about that kind of stuff so he chooses to focus on Bill himself. 

"You're my best friend, too, you know," Eddie says after a couple moments of silence. Bill grins. 

"I know."

~~~

When Bill was 17, he thought Eddie was the most beautiful person he ever met.

Bill can finally admit. He's had a crush on Eddie longer than he can remember. If he really thinks about it, he can trace it all the way back to the first time he ever asked Eddie to come play with him and Richie. 

It's their junior year and prom's coming up. There are posters about it on every wall and it's all people can talk about it. Bev and Ben, who have been going steady for a whole year a half now, have already bought their matching suit and dress. Well, Ben bought his suit. Beverly spend a lot of her free time designing and sewing her own dress. 

Richie is planning on taking Mike as his date, not worried about what others will think. It is more of a friend date, inviting Mike so that he gets to share the cliche high school experience since he doesn't get to actually attend high school. 

Bill and Eddie are the only ones still looking for a date. 

Bill knows that Katie Calloway, one of the cheerleaders from his junior class, is expecting him to ask her. He understands why. They've been lab partners for all three years. She wears his number for pep rallies, like all the other cheerleaders do for the male athletes. Almost everyone expects him to ask her out one of these days. And don't get him wrong, he thinks she's pretty and nice and smart, and would totally be the girl he would go for. But for some reason, he just can't bring himself to do it. 

Anytime he thinks about asking her out on a date, he gets a weird feeling in his stomach and it just doesn't feel right. He doesn't try to lead her on, but he knows that he wants to have her as an option if he does decide on her. 

Maybe he should just go alone. 

He loses track of this thought as he's walking down the empty hall, excused from his history class for a bathroom break. Eddie is standing at his locker, staring inside it without moving. 

"E-Eddie?" He asks.

Eddie's head snaps towards him, and there are tears in his eyes. He quickly wipes them away and slams his locker shut, before walking away quickly in the other direction. 

"Eddie! Wait!" Bill demands, feeling alarmed at seeing Eddie upset. He's not surprised that Eddie is running from him if he's crying. Eddie hates to let people see him cry. As he's gotten older, he's developed a thicker skin, trying his best to not let people see his vulnerable side. Bill is pretty sure that it's because of he's always been viewed as weak by his peers. He's been chalked up as the sickly boy who has an overprotective mother. But Eddie has recently started to work himself out from under his mother's thumb and Bill is really proud of him. 

He follows Eddie, as he turns down another hallway, before entering an empty classroom. 

"Eddie, s-stop," Bill says when Eddie tries to shut the door before Bill can come in. 

"Leave me alone," Eddie responds, but he gives up on trying to shut the door and goes to sit on one of the desks. 

"Not until y-you tell me what's w-wrong," Bill says softly as he closes the door behind him. The room is dark, the only light coming through the blinds on the window. They can still see each other clearly. 

Eddie sniffs. "It doesn't matter.'

Bill comes closer and sits on top of the desk parallel to the one Eddie is perched on. "If it's b-bothering you then i-i-it does matter."

Eddie sighs and starts to play with a frayed string on his shirt. Bill waits patiently for him to explain, not caring if he gets in trouble for not coming back to class. 

"Have you asked Katie to prom yet?" Eddie asks, and Bill narrows his eyes at the topic change. 

"I d-don't even know if I-I'm going to ask h-her," Bills says and Eddie scoffs. 

"What?" Bill frowns.

"I don't know what you're waiting for, Bill. We all know that she's the one you're going to take, so why don't you just get it over with, huh?" Eddie snaps, not meeting Bill's eyes as he glares at the ground. 

"Why are y-you mad at m-me?" Bill questions. 

Eddie's shoulders deflate. "I'm not. I don't know, it's stupid."

"T-Tell me," Bill says and leans closer to get Eddie to look at him. 

"I don't think I'm going to go to prom," Eddie mumbles. 

"What? You h-have to go. It w-won't be any fun without y-you," Bill immediately interjects. 

"But you guys all have dates. I don't have anyone to go with. I don't want to go and be by myself all night," Eddie explains. 

"We c-can find you a g-girl to go with," Bill says softly. But he does not like the way that sounds at all. He doesn't understand why Eddie having a date makes him feel weird. 

"And what if I don't want to go with a...girl?" Eddie says, and Bill feels a spike of something he can't place shoot through him. He kind of suspected, they all did, but Eddie's never said anything and none of them have ever questioned him. 

"Then g-go with me,' Bill says, like they're just deciding to go get something to eat after school. Bill isn't stupid. He knows that this wouldn't be just a friend date like it is with Richie and Mike. But the idea of going to prom with Eddie is actually a lot more comforting and exciting than the idea of going with Katie.

Eddies eyes widen and his head shoots up. 

"Really?"

Bill nods and gives Eddie a small smile. 

"Do you mean...like an actual date?" Eddie asks tentatively. 

"I'll pick you up at 7?" Bill says and Eddie grins excitedly and jumps down to give Bill a hug. Bill wraps his arms around Eddie, still sitting on the desk with Eddie standing between his legs. Bill loves hugging Eddie because he always smells so good. He knows for a fact that Eddie's shampoo is scented Raspberry Sorbet. He can't help but smell his hair when he's this close because it's not often that Eddie gets this close to him. 

"Did you just smell me?" Eddie asks but he's laughing and Bill can't help but laugh too.

"I c-can't help it. You s-smell so good," He says and Eddie fondly rolls his eyes. 

They're left standing there, not even a foot of space between him. The air becomes tense and Bill doesn't even realize it, but he's been staring at Eddie's face for a long time. Too long to be normal. But Eddie isn't pulling away or making any jokes. There's a faint blush on Eddie's cheeks that Bill thinks is beautiful on him.

Suddenly, the bell rings, and they jump apart. 

"Shit, I never went back to class," Eddie panics, and Bill knows that he should be worried too. They've been in here about twenty minutes. He can already hear the other students leaving their classes and opening their lockers. But for some reason, he doesn't feel panicked or upset about this at all. 

He follows Eddie towards the door and Eddie gives him a small smile before he's striding down the hallway the other way. Bill watches him go.

He swallows. He's never really thought about the possibility of being attracted to a guy, but Eddie really is pretty. Bill thinks that Eddie might be the prettiest boy he's ever seen. Especially when's he's just finished crying and his eyes are big and shining. They're the definition of "doe eyes." Bill thinks back to the times Eddie has stayed the night, waking up the next morning with his hair sticking up all over the place and not smoothed over with hair product. His olive skin always looks so striking against any light colored clothing, and it's even better in the summer. 

Holy shit. 

He likes Eddie. 

~~~

Bill's been nervous about tonight for weeks now. It's prom night. 

There was a little bit of drama when the school found out that Bill was taking Eddie to prom. He knows that a lot of people don't think that he should still be hanging out with the loser's club, but they will always be his best friends. They've become a group that no one else can get in and the school has more or less accepted that there was no breaking them up. Bill can't even count how many times he turned down sitting down next to someone at lunch to go sit with his losers. Finally, the offers stopped all together. 

He did, however, have a lot of Katie's friends come up to him and tell him he was stupid for making a joke out of prom by taking his guy friend when he could have an actual date. It didn't help that Katie started to avoid him after that, switching places with another classmate so that they wouldn't be partners anymore. 

But Eddie is his actual date. 

Ever since that day he asked Eddie to the prom, he doesn't understand how he didn't realize it before. Every time he's around him, his heart starts to beat faster and his palms get sweaty. 

He likes Eddie. Like "wants to kiss and hold hands" likes Eddie. 

And he knows that Eddie definitely isn't straight, but that doesn't mean he likes Bill. He may just have accepted the prom date because he thought Bill was being nice to take him instead of the girl. 

He sighs and adjusts his blazer. They decided to match, with Bill going in a dark gray suit with a light pink stitching.  Eddie's suit was the exact same pale pink and a gray tie. Bill hasn't seen it on him, but he already knows he's going to be stunning. 

He leaves his room, grabbing his keys and wallet and turning off the lights behind him. He comes back not even a minute late to grab the small corsage he bought for Eddie. He didn't really know what he should do since he's taking a guy to prom, so he just went with what he knew. It's got a couple of matching pink roses and the ribbon is gray. 

His car, which his cousin actually gave him when she bought a newer one for herself, sits outside. It's not the...best looking car. There are a few dents and parts where the paint has chipped off. It's an older car, but Bill is just thankful that it runs. He plans on saving up and getting newer one too. 

He drives over to Eddie's and he feels more and more butterflies in his stomach as he gets closer. 

Eddie is standing outside when he pulls up. He looks just as nervous as Bill feels. 

He climbs into the passenger seat, just like he would if they were just hanging out, not going to prom. The only thing that gives it away is their suits. 

Bill doesn't get a good look at Eddie because he has to drive, but just knowing that Eddie is sitting there all dressed up is making him feel a little hot. 

They drive to the school in silence. There are already tons of cars parked outside, and there's a big decorated archway over the entrance to the gym. They can faintly see faint lights coming from the entrance. 

Bill finds a place to park. Eddie looks like he's about to climb out but Bill stops him. 

"I g-got you this," Bill says, and Eddie looks down to see Bill hand him to the corsage. Eddie is silent for a few seconds and Bill inwardly panics, thinking he did something wrong. But then Eddie is reaching into the inside pocket of his own suit and brings out a matching rose that pins to Bill's suit. They exchange them without saying anything, but both feeling happy with the outcome. 

They exit the car and Bill thinks about taking Eddie's hand but he doesn't. He doesn't want to push his boundaries. 

"You look g-good," Bill compliments while they stand in line to give the teacher their pre-bought tickets. And he really does. The pink is striking, just like he thought it would be. It's fits him very well, and Bill suspects the Bev has something to do with that because it has to be hard for Eddie to find clothes that fit without alteration since he's on the smaller side. Eddie has his hair styled into a small quiff. He has the corsage around his wrist.

Eddie blushes and it matches his suit.

"You do too," He says softly, glancing up at Bill from under his eyelashes. 

They enter the gym to see all the hand made designs made by the art department and student council. Beverly, who was head over prom committee this year, greets them at the door, smiling big in her fitted mint green dress that compliments her fiery hair so well. Ben is a few steps behind her, looking dashing in his black tux with a mint green tie. 

They exchange greetings and Bev points them to where Richie and Mike have reserved them a small table at the back of the gym. Bill and Eddie make their way to it, passing a few people who say hello to Bill on their way. No one says anything about him and Eddie being together, but they have caught several pairs of eyes staring a little longer than normal at their color coordination. They are quite the opposite to Richie and Mike who have obviously not planned their suits at tall. Richie is in an all black suit, no colors seen. Mike is in a pale yellow one, looking striking against his dark skin. 

"Bill, my man, looking sharp. And, of course, my young Eddie-Spaghetti, all grown up and on his first date," Richie coos and leans over to pinch Eddie's cheeks. Eddie's face is hard to see in the dim lighting, but if it's anything like Bill's, it's red and burning. 

It didn't come off as a big surprise when Bill told the other losers that he and Eddie were going to prom together. They had been sitting at lunch.  Richie had snorted his milk and started laughing while Bev and Ben had exchanged looks that had made Bill feel like he was missing the joke. No one had really asked anything about how they came to this decision, but there was countless teasing from Richie. 

"Don't call me that. And stop pinching me,' Eddie snapped, pushing Richie's hands off his face. 

They sit down and Bev and Ben come to join them pretty soon after. They hear the small speeches made before prom officially starts, clapping politely. Then the first song comes on and everyone is getting out of their seats to mingle and dance. 

Bev forced them all up to dance, not caring for their complaints or awkwardness. 

Thirty minutes later, and they're all sweaty and jumping around to the top forty song being played, having one of the funnest nights of their lives. Things haven't had the chance to be awkward between him and Eddie because they haven't strayed from the group yet. But then, the DJ decides that things need to slow down and plays a slow, cheesy love song. A lot of people start to separate into pairs. 

Bill feels his nerves shoot through him as he turns to Eddie. 

"D-Do you want t-t-to dance?" He asks. 

Eddie grins shyly and takes Bill's hand. 

Bill is awkward, not knowing where to place his hands, but they end up on Eddie's waist before he has time to even think about it. Eddie's hands are placed softly on to his shoulders. 

They sway back and forth, but they're looking anywhere but each other. It's almost hard to watch for Bev end Ben who are dancing a little ways off themselves. 

Thankfully, the song ends and another upbeat one plays. They laugh it off and go to join the others. 

For the rest of the night, anytime a slow song would play, they would try to avoid each other. Bill would go to get a drink, Eddie would go to the bathroom. They always met back on the floor when all the others were around. Finally, Bev had enough of this. 

"I swear to god, you came together as dates. Just fucking dance, it doesn't have to be so hard," She exclaims as she pushes Bill towards Eddie who is being kept still by Richie. They glance at each other, and both their faces flush before they look away. 

Bev pushes them out into the middle of the floor. They stand there, amidst all the dancing couples, before Bill gives Eddie a small smile. 

"I g-guess we are being a little s-s-silly," Bill chuckles and Eddie smiles. Bill puts his hands back on Eddie's waist and Eddie follows suit. They laugh and fall into a more relaxed stance, feeling comfortable into each other's hold. Bev rolls her eyes on the sideline. They dance until the song ends, feeling happy that they finally got to dance the way they both pictured it. Bill finally gets a good look of Eddie under the colored lights, not understanding how it's possible for someone to be so pretty. Eddie definitely appreciates how strong Bill's shoulders feel.

However, as soon as the song ends, they hear the DJ announce that it's time to find out Prom King and Queen. They let go of each other and go back to their table with the others. Nobody says anything about the way Bill leads Eddie by taking and holding his hand. 

They talk as the DJ drones on and on about competitors and the voting process, not really caring who the most popular upperclassmen are. 

The rest of the night goes well, and before they know it, it's over. Their Junior Prom has come to an end. 

"Hey, I heard there's a party at Jake's tonight. You guys wanna go?" Richie asks the group as they're leaving the gym. They all agree to go. 

They take separate cars and meet up at the party. It's a nice house and there a lot of cars parked out front that could not be more obvious, but they go in anyways.

 The music playing is a lot different than what was playing in the gym. It's loud and definitely not school appropriate. Everyone is still in their suits and dresses, although not everyone is still _completely_ in them. Some the kids are already drunk or high and there's just a lot of noise. In the kitchen is a table full of snacks and drinks. There is constantly someone raiding the freezer for a cold alcoholic drink. 

Richie and Bev go to the basement, where there's bound to be a group of people passing a joint. Ben and Mike go to fetch themselves a beer, leaving Bill and Eddie alone. 

"D-Do you want a d-drink?" Bill leans down to press his lips and talk in Eddie's ear, the only place he could hear him. He doesn't mention the way Eddie shudders at that. 

Eddie nods and follows Bill into the kitchen. Ben and Mike must have already got their drinks because they're no where to be found. One of the senior baseball players on Bill's team is mixing drinks and he grins when he sees Bill. Bill asks for two of what he's making and hands one to Eddie before taking one for himself. It's a bright green color and tastes surprisingly of green apple, only leaving a small burning feeling as it goes down. Eddie still makes a face when he swallows it, making Bill laugh. 

The next thing Bill knows is that he's really hot and the first few buttons of his undershirt have come undone and the sleeves are rolled up over his forearms. . His blazer is nowhere to be found. He's got a drink in his hand that has been magically refilling itself all night. He feels great and he's really glad that he's surrounded by a bunch of other people who are having a great night. 

He catches sight of Eddie, who is obviously still really sober, leaning against the wall and watching him. Mike is next to him and is talking, but Eddie doesn't look very invested in the conversation. They meet eyes and Bill feels even hotter than before. 

But then someone is grabbing his arm, and he stumbles to follow whoever it is. He vaguely catches that it's a girl from his class before he's being pushed into a sitting position with some other drunk teenagers who are all sitting in a circle. Minutes later, Eddie comes, being pulled by Richie. The other losers fall close behind and the whole room is full of willing participants for the best party game ever: Truth or Dare. It's a game that Bill still claims to be the King of, so he's pretty excited to play. 

The dares are stupid and the truths are boring, but Bill finds himself laughing way too much. Then it's his turn. 

"Bill, truth or dare," The girl who had made him come play says. 

"Dare," He says and grins when he gets several yells and hoots in response. 

"I dare you to kiss Katie," The girls says and smirks. Bills looks up in surprise and turns to see Katie blushing, but smiling at her friend. 

"Truth," He says and everyone laughs except for Katie and her friend. 

"You can't take it back once you've said it," The girl replies. 

Bill sighs and looks for Eddie. He's not in the circle, but Bill catches sight of him standing amidst the small gathering that are not playing. Eddie isn't meeting his eye. Instead, he's glaring at his shoes. 

Bill takes another swig of his drink, before beckoning Katie to come closer. She comes to sit next to him and he leans in, only planning on giving her a small peck, but before he knows it, the feeling of lips on his becomes toxic and he doesn't stop. He hears whistles as their lips meet over and over again. Bill can tastes the lipstick that she had been wearing.

It's only when Katie tries to sit in his lap that he remembers what's going on and pulls away. He immediately looks up to find Eddie, but he's not there anymore. But Bev is, and she looks pissed. She shakes her head and walks out of the room, followed by Richie and Ben who both look like they'd rather be anywhere but here. 

Bill hastily gets up to follow them and he stumbles as he walks. He's way too drunk to really comprehend what's wrong, but he still feels the need to fix it. 

He catches up to them as they're walking outside. "Where's E-Eddie?" 

Bev narrows her eyes at him. "That was really shitty, Denbrough, you know that? You don't take people out on a date and then make out with someone else," She holds up her hand when he opens his mouth. "I don't give a fuck if it was a dare, Bill. I know you aren't that stupid."

"Where is h-he, Bev?" He insists. He feels horrible. Being out in the open air and feeling the anger radiating off of the losers has definitely sobered him up. 

 Bev stares at him for a few seconds before sighing and pointing to Ben's truck where Bill can now see Eddie sitting in. He's slumped down in, Bill assumes, an attempt to not be see. Ben and Mike are in there as well and it looks like they're talking to him. 

Bill slowly approaches the car and taps lightly on the window, causing all three boys to look up. Eddie immediately looks back down at his lap, his cheeks red and Bill's heart aches when he sees him sniff and wipe his cheek, indicating that he was crying. 

Mike, who is closest to the window. rolls down the glass barrier. 

"Now probably isn't a good time, Bill," Mike says and he doesn't sound or look happy. It's weird for Mike to be mad at him, but he knows he deserves it.

"P-Please, I just want t-to talk to him," Bill persists. 

Mike and Ben both look towards Eddie, waiting for his response. He finally shrugs his shoulders in indifference, and they climb out. They look wary about leaving them by themselves, but they know it's important to have this conversation on their own. 

Bill climbs into the truck and shuts the door behind him, but he makes sure to leave some space between him and Eddie. 

"I'm s-so sorry, Eddie," Bill begins but stops when Eddie frowns at him. 

"You should have just told me you didn't want to go with me, Bill. None of this would even be happening if you hadn't asked me out on this pity date," Eddie snaps, but the tears in his eyes show how genuinely upset he is. 

"It's not a p-pity date, Eds," Bill immediately assures as he scoots closer. Eddie glances at the new lack of space between them, but goes back to staring downwards. "I promise, I really w-w-wanted to go to p-prom with you."

"You did?" Eddie asks self-consciously. 

"Of course. It's s-so embarrassing, but I-I've been so nervous f-for weeks now," Bill smiles when Eddie laughs.

"Same," Eddie chuckles and sniffs again. 

"I'm r-really sorry, Eddie. This isn't h-how I imagined the n-night going," Bill says earnestly and Eddie looks at him curiously, but there's a smile playing at his lips. 

"And exactly how did you plan for this night to go?" He teases and Bill's face goes red. 

"I-I, well, I d-didn't-" Bill can't even get the sentence out as he looks at Eddie with wide eyes and a shocked expression before Eddie bursts out giggling. 

"I'm kidding, Bill," Eddie giggles and Bill laughs in relief next to him. They continue to laugh for a few seconds before it quiets between them and Eddie asks, "So...this was an actual date to you?" 

Bill nods. "It's w-weird, but for some r-r-reason, I couldn't imagine g-going to prom with anyone else," Bill explains. "Everyone k-kept pushing for me t-to go with Katie, but I d-d-didn't want to."

"But you wanted to go with me?" 

"More than anything."

Eddie swallows and glances at Bill from under his eyelashes. Bill's breath gets caught in his throat when Eddie scoots a little closer, to where they're no only a couple inches apart. 

"I like you, Bill," Eddie says softly. Bill's heart is beating faster by the second. 

"I like y-you too," He whispers. 

Eddie looks up at him and their eyes meet for a long time and Bill can't stop the pull he feels towards Eddie. Before he knows, their faces are just centimeters apart. 

"Can I k-kiss you?" He bravely asks. 

Eddie nods without taking his eyes off of Bill. 

The first brush of their lips almost shocks them both. Bill pulls back slightly to gauge Eddie's reaction, but Eddie follows him and presses their lips back together. Bill doesn't know why he though kissing a boy would be a whole different world compared to kissing a girl, but Eddie's lips are so soft and pressing back against him with just the right pressure and it's making something twist in his stomach. It's intoxicating in a whole new way. 

Eddie brings his hands up to run through Bill's hair and Bill takes that as permission to place his hands on Eddie's hips. 

Eddie moves into him and Bill sits back as Eddie climbs into his lap. If he had to rank the people that have sat in his lap tonight, he knows who would win. By a long shot. 

His hands are gripping onto the hem of Eddie's suit as Eddie keeps running his hands through Bill's hair. 

They jump apart when Richie taps on the window and they look up to hear him cackling with the other losers standing behind him with various smirks and grins. 

Eddie flips them off and Mike has to drag Richie away before he can ruin the moment even more. 

Bill removes his hands from Eddie's jacket and awkwardly tries to smooth out the wrinkles he made from holding onto it. Eddie's lips are pressed together as he attempts to make sense of what just happened. He hesitantly reaches up to fix Bill's hair and they meet eyes. They both freeze for a brief moment before they burst out laughing. 

"W-Well this night has t-taken a turn," Bill jokes and Eddie snickers. 

Eddie slowly slides off of Bill's lap and sits next to him on the seat. "So..."

Bill nods. "Yep."

Eddie licks his lips and Bill has to stop himself from staring at his mouth. "What happens now?"

"W-Well, I was thinking I-I could take your out o-on a real date, j-just us two," Bill says hopefully and he's so nervous, he's practically sweating. 

However, his fear is short lived because Eddie grins and leans up to press a kiss to Bill's cheek. "Sounds like a plan, Bill Denbrough."

~~~

When Eddie was 18, he thought Bill was the sexiest person he had ever met. 

Senior year was coming to an end and all the losers, except Richie and Mike (who were only juniors),  have sent away their applications for the school they all agreed to go to. It'd be another week before they got their acceptance letters, which Eddie knows they'll all get. He has no doubt about it. 

Him and Bill have been going strong for just a little over a year now. It was a shock when the word finally spread that they were actually dating and not just taking the piss at prom. Katie had gone to ignoring Bill to full on hating him, but Eddie isn't really all that upset about it. 

Eddie is so happy with Bill. They've gotten so close and Eddie knows that he can trust him with anything. He's looking forward to sharing a dorm with him in college and finally getting away from his mother's too watchful eye. She hasn't found out about them yet and Eddie doesn't plan to tell her until he's completely free from her grip.

But...there's something that Eddie is hesitant to approach in his and Bill's relationship. 

Sex. 

It's not that Eddie's scared of it or that he thinks he won't be good, he's just...nervous. 

Losing his virginity is a big thing for him even if it isn't for other people. And he knows that Bill would never force him to do anything. In fact, they've barely even touched that way at all. 

But lately, it's all Eddie can think of. He guesses it started about a month ago when he and Bill had gone out on their usual Friday night date. They had just left the movie theater and were sitting in Eddie's driveway, trying to stay together as long as they could before Eddie's curfew. His mother was in her room, so he knows that she couldn't see them or know that they were there. 

It had just started with some kissing, both of them leaning across the middle console for closer proximity, but then, before he had even processed it, the console was shoved up and he and Bill were pressed together, with Bill hovering over him.  Bill's hands were rubbing his sides under his shirt and Eddie had wrapped his thighs around Bill's waist. He was gripping onto the fine hairs on the back of Bill's neck and gripping his shirt in a clenched fist. 

He remembers feeling how hot he had felt and how he wanted Bill closer and closer. 

Nothing beyond that had happened. Bill politely pulled off of him and gave Eddie a toothy grin as he sat back up in his driver's seat and Eddie began to climb out the old car. Of course, nothing was going to happen, they've never even talked about going past kissing. 

But since then, it's all he could think about. 

Eddie doesn't know much about sex, especially sex when it comes to two guys. He had watched a couple porn videos, but it had become too much too fast that he had ended up turning them off before they were even halfway over. However, he does know sex is supposed to feel good. That's why people do it. 

And Eddie does know what an orgasm feels like. He's came in too many tissues, stifling his moans so his mother couldn't hear, to not be familiar with the burning pleasure of a climax. Sometimes he wonders if Bill is doing the same thing, touching himself and thinking of Eddie. Eddie sure likes to hope so. 

He's thought about going to Richie, who seems to have an endless knowledge of all things sex related, but he couldn't put himself through that kind of humiliation. Richie would, with no doubt, tease and make fun of him before announcing to the world that Eddie was still a virgin. 

Ben seemed like a good person to talk to about anything but sex. When Bev had told the others that they had finally done it for the first time, Ben had turned a shocking shade of red and had practically hid from them for the rest of the day.

Bev may be comfortable with sex, but she was still a girl and, Eddie assumes, would have no knowledge on how gay men have sex besides the obvious. 

His last thought was Mike, but he hasn't seen Mike in a couple weeks since the farm has been rapidly producing babies of all kinds and Mike's had his hands full. 

No, Eddie would have to figure out what to do on his own and just talk to Bill. 

It couldn't be that hard right? 

~~~

Eddie was wrong. 

Bringing up that conversation has been one of the hardest things he's ever done. Not to mention the fact that Bill could basically just look at him and Eddie has the sudden urge to take a cold shower. 

It's been a week since he decided to talk to Bill about it. It's been a week and nothing has happened. 

Just when he thinks he's ready to ask for more or bring it up casually in a conversation, he gets this sudden shot of anxiety through him. Maybe Bill isn't ready to have sex yet. Maybe Bill doesn't want to have sex at all. What if Bill is wanting to wait for marriage? Not that Bill has ever expressed any kind of religious beliefs, but then again, they've never talked about it. 

Bill seems to notice how antsy Eddie is getting around him, how he never wants to sit still around him or how reserved he's been during their make-outs. He keeps asking Eddie if there's anything wrong, and Eddie has to tell him that there isn't. 

He knows he's being unfair, there is obviously something going on, but he refuses to have that conversation in class or at the lunch table. Well, technically, he's been refusing to have that conversation anywhere. 

It's Friday afternoon and the losers are sitting on the metal bleachers next to the baseball field. Bill is playing one of his last home baseball games, and they all showed up to support him. Even Mike took a break from the farm to come cheer him on. 

Eddie bites his nails as he watches the way Bill's baseball pants stretch over his legs and ass as he bends his knees slightly to get ready for a ground ball or is setting up in the batter's box. The losers have noticed Eddie's lack of shouting at the umpires and general energy, but they don't push him. There's a soft wind that is starting to become chillier and chillier, making Eddie pull Bill's varsity jacket tighter over his body. It doesn't help that he gets a sudden whiff of Bill's cologne. He breathes shakily through his mouth, trying to control his body as he eyes the veins that stick out in Bill's arms when he grips the bat. 

He jumps when Bev shoulder bumps him. He looks over to see her staring at him with her eyebrows raised. There's a small knowing smile on her face and Eddie hates that she reads him so well. 

"Baseball uniforms can be so sexy, don't you think? Maybe I should convince Ben to wear one for me," They snicker and glance at Ben who is engaged in a conversation with Mike. He frowns when he sees them looking in his direction but they quickly turn back around, keeping their giggles behind their hands. 

It's at that moment that Bill looks up from the dugout and him and Eddie make eye contact. Bill smiles softly at seeing Eddie laugh and Eddie's face heats up. Bev watches the whole exchange and snorts. 

"Jesus, Kraspbak, keep it in your pants will ya?" Bev teases, but Eddie goes pale. 

"W-What do you mean?" He stutters. 

Bev stares at him for a few quiet seconds. "I've never seen anyone look at someone with as much bedroom eyes as you've been giving Bill lately. I just thought you guys would have..." She trailed off and frowned when he quickly looks away in embarrassment. 

"You haven't?" Bev asks, genuinely surprised. 

"Don't you think we would have told you?" Eddie snaps, feeling the burning in his cheeks return. 

"No, I don't. Neither of you would be willing to do that," Bev responds and Eddie huffs. "Hey, it's not a bad thing. It's not like you guys have to have...sex," She whispers the last word as Richie passes by them with his nachos from the concession stand. 

"But I want to!" Eddie whines and all the losers look up. 

"Want to what?" Mike asks. 

"Nothing!" Both Eddie and Bev exclaim in unison. The other three give them a weird look but don't make a big deal about it. 

"Well, if you want to, then why haven't you?" Bev asks when the attention is turned away from them.

"It's...complicated," He says and bunches up the jacket to make him feel smaller. She gives him a look and he continues. "It's just..there's so much that can go wrong. What if we're not ready? What if it isn't good? What if he doesn't even want to?" Eddie explains and she him incredulously. 

"You really think Bill "I can't even go one party without being caught jacking one off in the bathroom" doesn't want to have sex?" Bev questions and, well, when she puts it that way, it sounds stupid, but that doesn't make Eddie feel better. 

"I'm just nervous, Bev," He grudgingly admits. 

She sighs. "Eddie, don't force yourself into something you don't want to do. You don't have to have sex with Bill. But, if you do want to, you just have to talk to him. Bill would never make fun of you for that," Bev says and gently rubs his back. 

It's Eddie's turn to sigh. 

He looks up and watches as Bill swings and hits the baseball being pitched to him. It soars high over left field, dropping beyond sight behind the metal wall. Bill's teammates and the other losers all cheer at his winning homerun and Eddie watches the way he jogs around the bases, looking pleased with himself. 

"I'm going to," Eddie promises and Bev presses a kiss to his cheek. 

They wait for Bill to gather his things once the game has been called. 

Bill runs up to him and picks him up and spins him around as a greeting from the finished baseball game. Eddie shrieks and laughs but he hugs him back anyway. 

However, when he pulls back to look at him, his breath gets caught in his throat. Bill was really sweaty and there was a flush on his face from the physical excursion. His hair was sticking up in a wild hairdo and Eddie couldn't help but find it incredible hot. 

Bill frowns at him but there's a confused smile on his face. "Something wrong?"

Eddie opens his mouth to speak but Bev's voice cuts him off as she slings an arm around his shoulders. 

"What's wrong is that the game ended 15 minutes ago and we have not gone for our traditional burgers and shakes and I, for one, am starving, so can we get this show own the road?" 

"Why, y-yes your majesty," Bill teases and all is forgotten. 

~~~

"Eddie?" Bill asks when they're alone in Bill's car after going out with their friends. Eddie had sat next to Bill, just like usual, but had not said a word the whole time. 

Eddie clears his throat. "Yea?"

"Will you p-please tell me what's b-been bothering you?" Bill asks quietly, not taking his eyes off the road. 

Eddie purses his lips and takes in a deep breath. Now or never. 

"Can you pull over?" He glances at Bill and presses his lips together and nods. He moves them into the shoulder of some back road and puts the car in park. He turns towards Eddie and Eddie does the same. 

There's silence in the car before they both speak at the same time. 

"P-please don't b-break up with me."

"I think I want to have sex."

Both their eyes widen at the other's admission and again, they speak over each other. 

"Holy shit, y-you want to have sex?"

"What the fuck do you mean "break up with you?"

Bill rubs the back of his neck and looks guiltily at Eddie. 

"I thought that w-was what's wrong. You've b-been acting weird lately a-and you keep p-pulling away from me so I-I thought you wanted to break up," Bill explains and Eddie groans. 

"Jesus, Bill, I've been pulling away because I just keep thinking about, you know," Eddie mumbles out. He looks up to see Bill grinning at him and can't help but grin in return. "What?"

"What d-do you mean what? I just found out that m-my boyfriend n-not only isn't b-breaking up with me, but wants t-to have sex. I'm a h-happy man," Bills teases and Eddie punches him in the arm. 

"So, you do want to?" Eddie tentatively asks and Bill raises his eyebrows at him. 

"You're s-seriously asking if I w-want to have sex?"

"Well, you're supposed to ask, aren't you?"

"So...When do y-you want to?" Bill asks and Eddie glances over to see how excited he is. And suddenly he feels like an idiot to think that his proposal would be shot down.

"I mean, soon, if possible, but I'm not doing it in the backseat," Eddie says. 

"M-My parents are g-going out of town next F-Friday," Bill offers. 

"Friday it is."

~~~

The whole week leading up to Friday is tense. The losers seem to all notice the new intense gazes between the two and it makes lunch a little awkward. Bev looks like she's about to piss herself, and after a smoke break, Richie returns with her looking quite giddy himself. But she must have threatened him not to say anything because the only teasing they get is a couple eyebrow raises. 

Eddie is feeling a mixture of nervousness and excitement. Friday just doesn't seem to come fast enough. 

He tells his mother that he's staying at Bill's is only met with small argument. He wins, just like he always does and practically runs to the car with his bag when Bill pulls up. 

He climbs into the front seat and leans over to press a kiss to Bill's lips, not even caring if his mother could look out and catch them any second. 

Bill seems to match his mood and keeps drumming his fingers against the gear shift until Eddie takes his hand in his own. 

They drive back to Bill's and Eddie follows him as they enter. He almost expects to start right away, but Bill has other plans. The house smells like food and Eddie is surprised to find the dining room table set up with a full course meal. 

"I didn't know you could cook," He says impresses.

Bill smiles self-consciously. "M-Mike came over to help." 

Eddie chuckles and nods his head. He would have asked Mike to help too if the shoes were reversed. 

They sit at the table and eat the food the Mike has so selflessly prepared for them. But Eddie can barely focus on how good it is when Bill is sitting right there next to him in a tight t-shirt. Not even halfway through the meal, he announces he's done. He feels relieved to see that Bill's plate looks very similar. 

Bill takes their plates to the kitchen to clean up and Eddie moves to the living room to set up a movie for them to watch. He waits for Bill to return before he presses play. They sit there for the first ten minutes, not touching and not paying attention to the movie. They're both tense and neither of them know how to start. 

"Okay, this is weird. We're never this awkward around each other," Eddie says as he pauses the movie. 

Bill looks relieved that he's said something and immediately relaxes. 

"I-I know, it is weird. Let's just c-cuddle like we usually do and w-we'll let things happen n-naturally," Bill says. Eddie nods his head and this time, when he presses play, he leans into Bill's side and Bill wraps an arm around him. He smiles softly when Bill presses a sweet kiss to his temple. Eddie sneakily gets a sniff of Bill's cologne but he plays it off with a sigh. 

They stay like that for the rest of the movie and Eddie can't help but feel a little sleepy when it's over. His eyes are burning and before he knows it, he's dozing off on Bill's shoulder. 

He wakes up about an hour later to see that another movie is playing and Bill is gently running his fingers through Eddie's hair. Eddie jolts up. 

"What time is it? Why did you let me go to sleep? Why didn't you wake me up?' He questions. 

Bill looks taken back by the sudden onslaught of questions, but he keeps a soothing hand on Eddie's back. 

"I wasn't g-going to wake you up if y-you were tired. W-We can wait until another t-time," Bill says softly. 

"But I don't want to wait till another time. I want to do it now," Eddie says and doesn't miss the way Bill's tongue darts out to wet his lips. 

Before they know it, Eddie is straddling Bill's lap and their mouths are pressed together. Bill runs his hand all over Eddie's back an Eddie grips at Bill's hair. They both groan into each other's mouths when Bill rocks his hips slightly up.

Eddie experiments on his own and grinds down, feeling breathless when he already feels something hard meet his own growing erection. This is all so new to the both them. Before they had no intention of going anywhere farther than this. But tonight, that's the main goal. 

Bill gently lowers his hands to the small of Eddie's back and, before he becomes too afraid to, he places one hand on Eddie's ass and squeezes, bringing out a shocked gasp from the shorter boy. 

"Okay?" Bill whispers and Eddie nods.

"Very."

They both know that they can't continue on the couch so Eddie climbs off of Bill's lap and Bill reaches over to turn off the T.V. Eddie takes his hand and they giggle as they run up to Bill's bedroom. Bill pressed Eddie against the door once he shuts it, and they jump at the deodorant stick falls off of Bill's desk. They giggle and Bill leans down to Eddie him up against the door. Eddie isn't surprised by his strength at all and wraps his legs around Bill's waist. He pulls away from the kiss to pull off Bill's t-shirt. He runs his hands over every area of skin that he can, taking in the soft skin and strong muscles underneath his hands. 

Bill walks away from the door, still carrying Eddie, before he lays him down on his bed. He doesn't break the kiss as he climbs on top of him, settling between Eddie's legs. 

It almost seems like they're going to stay that way, making out and grinding into each other before Eddie has to use some self control and push Bill away so he can continue to undress. Bill looks eager to help Eddie take off his clothes and Eddie can't help but feel hot and exposed as each article of clothing comes off. Bill presses kisses and praises into each new patch of skin that he sees. When Eddie's down to his underwear, he reaches up to undo the button on Bill's jeans. Bill stands up to take them off properly and Eddie sits at he edge of the bed, his head level with Bill's crotch. 

They both pause and look at each other before Eddie slowly presses his mouth to Bill's hip. He hears Bill swear as he sucks and bites a small bruise into that area. He looks up and slowly reaches for the waistband of Bill's boxer shorts before sliding them down. Bill steps out of them and his cock springs up in full hardness. 

Eddie eyes him and lets out a shaky breath before he moves to press a kiss to the tip of Bill's dick. He feels Bill gently rub his shoulders as grips onto the back of Bill's thighs to bring him closer. 

It's not the world's best first blowjob. He doesn't exactly know how to suck without accidentally using his teeth, but Bill moans and thanks him as if it was. He takes the tip into his mouth and swirls his tongue around it, fascinated by the way Bill's hips jump and his toes curl in the carpet. He comes to find that using his tongue is his best aspect, and takes full advantage of it when he can't fit the whole thing in his mouth.

His eyes keep watering and he pulls off a couple times to cough, but each time, Bill wipes the wetness away and makes sure he's okay. 

He pulls off before Bill comes and moves to the center of the bed where he's not on the edge anymore. Bill climbs in after him and leans over his body to tug his own briefs down, leaving them both naked. 

Bill seems to notice that kissing distracts Eddie from having to worry and they do it for awhile before Bill gently brings a hand down to grip at Eddie. Eddie gasps and moans as Bill gives him a few slow tugs. 

He pauses and reaches over to the nightstand, where Eddie realizes is a bottle of lube and a condom. His breathing quickens even more. 

Bill pours a small amount of lube onto Eddie's dick, making his movements slick and faster. He bites and nips at Eddie's neck, encouraging soft moans from the boy. 

"Bill, Bill, stop, I'm going to-" Eddie breathes and Bill stops touching him. 

Bill sits up and grabs the condom and lube before moving in between Eddie's spread legs. He grabs a pillow and has Eddie place it under his hips so that Bill has better access. They laugh when Eddie almost kicks him in the face in an attempt to get more comfortable. It's a nice break in the tension. The handjob seems to have made Eddie more comfortable with the situation because he doesn't try to hide or distract himself from what's happening. His eyes are glued on Bill and the things in his hands. 

Bill bites his lip and focuses on the task at hand. He's never done this sort of thing before, but he's seen many videos before. He's even read about it before. He goes slow, pumping only one finger for a long time before Eddie feels ready for another. He knows this can be painful and weird the first time, so he focuses on trying to make this as good for Eddie as he can. 

When he gets to three fingers, he finally gets vocal confirmation that he's doing something right. Before then, Eddie had been quiet except for his sped up breathing. The only time he had said anything was when he told Bill to keep going each time he stopped. Bill's fingers are just a lot longer than his own. 

He curls them up, trying to stretch Eddie out as much as possible when he hears Eddie take in a big breath and whine. 

"There," Eddie demands and Bill follows instructions to press his fingers to that spot again and again. 

When Eddie actually looks like he on the tip of an orgasm, Bill pulls his fingers away, smiling when Eddie groans in disapproval. He reaches for the condom and it takes him a couple minutes to roll it on. 

When he does, he leans down to kiss Eddie as he lines his cock up, letting the tip of it just barely catch Eddie's rim before pulling slightly away. 

"Still okay?" Bill whispers. 

"Please, Bill. Fuck me," Eddie pleads and his mouth falls open as Bill pushes in. 

"I'm s-sorry, I'm sorry," Bill says quickly but Eddie shakes his head. It's not...painful to put it exactly. It stretches and there's a slight sting, but Eddie mostly just feels full. Fuller than he's ever been. 

"Just go slow," Eddie says and Bill does as he's told. The first few rolls of his hips make them both cry out. Bill can barely comprehend anything other than the tight heat enveloping him. He doesn't want to say much during this. He knows that it'll be hard to form single words, let alone actual sentences. He's more than willing to express his pleasure through moans and small whispered "yes's".  

They continue, both awkwardly trying to find the best position and tensing when they find it. 

Bill speeds up and Eddie expresses his gratitude. However, the feeling is short lived when Bill's his stutter and he lets out a loud groan of Eddie's name before he's slumping against Eddie's body. Eddie holds him and rubs his back. 

"That's s-s-so embarrassing," Bill groans into Eddie's neck and Eddie chuckles. 

"Just need a lil' practice, that's all," Eddie assures and Bill looks up to meet his eyes. He pulls away to take off the condom and eyes' the way Eddie is laying underneath him, still hard. He leans in to kiss him and shifts to where he can get his hands back on Eddie. Eddie gasps when Bill takes him in his mouth, moving a lot more confidently than Eddie did earlier. 

Eddie finds it really hot, the way Bill holds his hips down on the mattress and when Bill pushes in two fingers without warning, he's shooting down Bill's throat. 

Eddie opens his arms for Bill to crawl back into. 

"W-Was that good f-for you?" Bill whispers into the quiet room. 

Eddie hums and says, "The best."

Bill chokes a little and coughs when he pulls off, but he's smiling as he wipes his mouth and Eddie groans at the sight. Eddie opens 

They lay there for awhile before they fall asleep, holding each other close before the pass out for the night. Bill gets his "practice" in starting the next morning. 

~~~

When Bill was 19, he thinks Eddie is the smartest person he has ever met. 

They've been living in their dorm for two months now. It's still crazy for Bill to think that they basically live together. Sure, they might have their own sides of the room, but it's just easier to share everything than to keep it all divided. Plus, they have no need for two beds when the basically only ever use one. 

Transitioning to college was a little rough. They were suddenly making their own choices, going where they want, eating what they want, doing what they want. This wasn't as big a change for Bill as it was for Eddie. 

Eddie was determined to be the most successful student. He was taking more than enough college credits and Bill was pretty sure he couldn't even pronounce some of the words in his psychology books. 

Bill was taking an easier level of courses. He wanted to take his easier classes first to get a good feel on what to expect from college. He wasn't too worried about his grades either, while Eddie craved straight A's. 

They got to see Bev and Ben pretty often, but they missed getting to hang out with all the losers at once. Bill would never admit it out loud, but he really missed Richie. Thankfully, they only had to go through one year before the other two would be joining them on campus. 

However, it was pretty soon that it became obvious the stress was getting to become too much for Eddie. 

"Baby, w-why are you crying?" Bill asks when he walks in and sets his stuff down on his desk chair and looks over to see Eddie sitting at his own desk, book open, and hands gripping his hair sharply. There are tear tracks going down his cheeks. 

"I can't do this Bill, I can't. I've read this stupid chapter three times, and I still have no fucking idea what's going on. If I don't get a good grade on tomorrow's exam, I might not be able to bring my grade back up and I just wanted an A so much, and I just-" Eddie stops and presses he heels of his palms to his eyes. Bill comes closer gently pulls his hands away before wrapping his arms around him. 

"Y-You're trying so hard, Eds. I-I know you're stressed, b-but I promise, it's g-g-going to be okay, okay? Just b-breathe," Bill mumbles into his ear. He coos when he hears Eddie take in a big lungful of air. 

Eddie sniffs and wipes his cheeks. Bill encourages him to take a break and get up to go cuddle with him which Eddie smiles softly and obeys. Bill holds him tightly under the covers, talking softly about anything and everything but classes. 

It isn't long before Eddie passes out. Bill is relieved because he's noticed the dark circles under Eddie's eye and the amount of times he's stayed up after Bill's gone to bed. 

He dozes off too, and they lay there for a couple hours before Eddie starts to stir. Bill opens his eyes to see Eddie staring up at the ceiling. When Eddie notices Bill is awake, he turns so that they're on their sides and facing each other. 

"Hey," Bill says and Eddie gives him a small smile. 

"Hey,"

"How are y-you feeling?" Bill asks and reaches up to softly push Eddie's hair away from his face. 

"Better. I still don't think I'm going to do well on that test, but you're right. I'm doing my best and that's all I can do," Eddie says and Bill brings his hand up to press a kiss against his knuckles. 

"That's my boy," He says and Eddie grins before he launches himself at Bill, causing them both to laugh into the hard kiss. 

 

Bill spends the rest of the night making sure Eddie is relaxed and stress free. They eat dinner together and it’s only after they eat that Bill lets Eddie pull out his flashcards again.

“Just test me, please,” Eddie requests and sits cross legged across from Bill on the bed.

Bill sighs and says the first term on the side of the flashcard facing him. Eddie immediately starts citing off the definition and an example of the word. They continue like this until all the flashcards are gone.

“I-I kind of don’t understand w-why you’re worried. You g-g-got this,” Bill says impressed. Eddie blushes.

“It’s going to be a lot harder than just definitions. He has a way of wording his questions to trick you,” Eddie explains. “I’ll be lucky to walk out of there with a B.”

“I think you’re g-g-going to pass with f-flying colors,” Bill says and gives Eddie a cheeky grin.

Eddie fondly rolls his eyes and goes back to his desk to get some last minutes studying in. Bill gives him an hour to look over everything before he gets up and gently takes his book away.

“If y-you don’t know it b-by now, then you w-won’t get it and you’ll j-just make yourself confused,” Bill says and puts the textbook away in Eddie’s backpack.

Eddie nods and gets up and stretches. His t-shirt lifts up and Bill eyes the patch of skin that’s exposed to him.

Eddie sees him looking and smirks. “Not tonight, Bill. I need to rest for tomorrow.”

“I h-had to try,” Bill sighs and smiles as he follows Eddie and climbs in the bed after him.

~~~

Bill watches Eddie get ready the next morning. His first class was cancelled, which usually meant he got to sleep in an extra hour, but he woke up when he heard Eddie getting up.

Eddie has gone through his whole getting ready routine with a look of pure anxiety that Bill recognizes all too well.

“You’re g-going to do great,” Bill promises and presses a kiss to his cheek on his way back from the bathroom. Eddie gives him a thankful smile but doesn’t say anything.

He watches Eddie leave with a small sigh. He knows Eddie is going to get an A. There’s no doubt in his mind. He just wished Eddie had as much confidence in himself as Bill has in him.

~~~

It’s going to be another week before they find out how he did on the test and Eddie is a wreck.

They go out together and try to do fun things to get Eddie’s mind off of it, but his head is just not in it.

Bill just sighs and tries to be as supportive as he can. Honestly, Eddie is starting to make him feel nervous, and it’s not even his grade.

They’re sitting in Bill’s favorite café, the one he always begs to Eddie to go to with him, when Eddie’s phone makes a noise to let him know he got a notification.

“What’s that?” Bill asks as he chews on muffin. The sound isn’t like the one Eddie usually gets for a text.

Eddie glances at it and his eyes widen. He holds the phone up to his chest and looks at Bill.

“It’s my grade. He just posted it.”

Bill reaches out for the phone, knowing Eddie won’t be able to look at it himself. Eddie hands it to him wordlessly.

Bill types in Eddie’s passcode and navigates to their school’s app and to where his grades are. He doesn’t mention all the high grades and nice remarks from his professors, although he is still impressed. It’s amazing to him to see how well Eddie is doing.

“Are you r-ready?” Bill asks after seeing the grade. He keeps his face neutral for Eddie’s sake.

“No, don’t tell me. I don’t want to know,” Eddie bites his nails and looks at Bill with those big brown eyes. “No, tell me.”

Bill opens his mouth to speak but Eddie interrupts. “Is it bad? Don’t tell me if it’s bad. No, wait. Just do it. Tell me.”

Bill chuckles at Eddie’s nervous indecisiveness. “You g-got your A, baby.”

Eddie’s eyes widen and he reaches over for his phone. He looks at the screen for a long time, almost not believing the big bold letter in his grade book.

“Oh my god,” Eddie says, and Bill is pretty sure he hasn’t seen him smile this big since they all got their acceptance letters.

“See? I t-told you would do it,” Bill teases but Eddie doesn’t care.

 “I’m p-proud of you,” Bill says and reaches to place a hand over Eddie’s on the table. Later, he shows him just how proud he is.

~~~

When the semester’s over, they get invitations to small banquet held for successful freshmen for the first semester.

Bill managed to pass with more A’s than B’s, but Eddie passed with a 4.0. Bev and Ben were invited too, but they chose to not go as it fell on their 3-year anniversary.

Bill holds Eddie’s hand as they check in and find some seats. There is a surprising number of other students, but Bill thinks that’s nothing but a good thing.

There are a couple speakers and Bill would have to admit that it’s pretty boring for the first half. They’re in the back, so Bill doesn’t feel guilty for laying his head on Eddie’s shoulder as they wait for the speeches to end.

He perks up when they start to call student’s names to come get their awards. Bill is one of the first called and he smiles warmly when he sees the Eddie has his phone out and is videoing him.

He returns to his seat and they wait patiently for Eddie’s name to be called.

But then they get to the K’s and then the L’s and Eddie’s name still hasn’t been called. They both sit there a little confused, and it’s obvious that Eddie’s a little upset. He worked so hard for his grades and he doesn’t even get the recognition he deserves.

Bill suggests they just leave, but Eddie doesn’t want to be rude, so they wait for it to end and Bill gently runs a hand up and down Eddie’s back. He feels bad for him. He can’t imagine how Eddie must be feeling.

But right after the last name has been called, the announcer continues.

“I know it may look like I have skipped over some people, but I assure you that is not the case,” He says, and both Eddie and Bill sit up. “We like to celebrate all our outstanding students, but we must acknowledge those who have gone beyond what is expected. It is a great thing to get good grades in your classes. It’s an amazing thing to achieve a 4.0 in all your classes. Will these select few students come to the front when I call your name? We have a specific prize for you and would like to take a picture with the dean of the university.”

Eddie looks at Bill with wide eyes and Bill’s cheeks hurt from how hard he’s smiling. This time, when Eddie’s name is called, Bill whoops and cheers louder than anyone else in the room, all while videoing it and sending to the others. He sees that they’ve all responded to the video that Eddie sent, but he’ll read them later. Right now, he wants to focus on Eddie.

There are less than 10 students that go up for the 4.0 award and Bill is proud to say that his boyfriend is one of them.

~~~

When Eddie 20, he thinks Bill is the most naïve person he’s ever met.

“How could you be on his side when he said that shit to Richie?” Eddie snaps as he angrily chops up some lettuce for the salad he was making.

“I’m n-not on his side, I-I just don’t think we know the whole s-story. Stan’s b-been my friend for a c-couple months, he just doesn’t seem l-like the type to be so mean,” Bill sighs and rubs his temples where he’s currently sat at the dining room table.

“News flash, Bill. Homophobic people don’t just come out and state they’re homophobic upon meeting them. That doesn’t make them any less of an asshole,” Eddie argues.

“I agree, b-but I think this time it’s d-different.”

“Well fine. You want to go hang out with your homophobic friend, who literally ran away when he found out we were dating, then go ahead. I’m not stopping you,” Eddie says and abruptly stops preparing his lunch. He’s not very hungry anymore anyways.

“He r-ran away because you threatened h-him,” Bill defends.

“Why are you so adamant about defending him Bill? Huh? Richie literally can’t even be around the guy. You are way too nice to people and you let them take advantage of you. People are going to walk all over you if you don’t grow a backbone,” Eddie says and retreats to the bedroom. He suddenly has a migraine.

“W-Wait hold up. Y-You don’t g-g-get to say that a-and then w-walk away,” Bill follows him, and Eddie feels a small tinge of guilt. Bill’s stutter is acting up, meaning he’s genuinely upset. But Eddie is too.

Eddie tries to close the door before Bill gets there just to be petty, but Bill’s sticks a foot out in time to catch it.

“There’s n-nothing wrong with s-seeing the b-best in people, Eddie. And I-I don’t feel bad about that a-at all. I’m n-not going to l-let you make me,” Bill states and Eddie scoffs.

“Yea tell me that when someone takes advantage of you next time. Or don’t, because I’m just going to tell you I told you so.” Eddie says as he sits on the bed and pulls out his phone, hoping that Bill will get the hint and leave him alone.

“Why are y-you being like this?” Bill asks and hesitantly sits down on the edge of the bed. It’s one of their first fights, and while fighting is inevitable, Bill still doesn’t like it.

Eddie sighs and puts his phone down. He lifts up one corner of his mouth when Bill takes his hands are starts to play with his fingers, although Bill wouldn’t call it smiling.

“I’m sorry. I just hate the idea of you getting hurt because people are mean,” Eddie says and Bill nods tiredly.

“But you h-have to know that I c-can take care of myself. If I g-get hurt, it’s not your f-fault.” Bill says and moves to lay down on his back. Eddie comes closer and lays halfway on top of him, resting his head and one arm on his chest. Bill presses a kiss to his hair.

“I don’t like fighting,” Eddie says softly.

“Me neither,” Bill says.

“Let’s not do it again?’

“Agreed.”

~~~

“Why won’t you just listen to me?!” Eddie yells as he throws a book at Bill. Bill catches it effortlessly and sets it down next to others that were vaulted his way.

“I am l-listening, but what y-you’re asking j-just isn’t possible, Eddie,” Bill says calmly.

“You’re never here anymore! You’re always at work or school and you’re driving yourself into the ground. You can not keep this up, Bill. You have to tell them to either give you less hours or you’re quitting,” Eddie demands.

“You know I-I can’t do that. We d-don’t have the money to l-live here if I don’t work those hours,” Bill responds.

“We’ll figure it out. But I’m not going to sit here and watch you work yourself to death because you’re too stubborn to cut back on school or work. It’s not healthy, Bill,” Eddie says.

“Fine. D-Don’t watch. But I’m doing this f-for us and when you c-can see that, let me know,” Bill says and heads back towards the living room. He’s been sleeping on the couch every other night because of their fighting. Usually, Eddie comes to get him halfway through the night, but Bill doesn’t think that’s the case for tonight.

Living on their own was harder than they anticipated. Eddie’s mother was more than willing to send money for his living expenses when she discovered how many people have lived in the dorms over the years and was not about to let her son be one of them anymore. However, Bill’s parents were not as willing. They sent him money for gas and food and that was about it. It was usually put towards bills anyway.

To compensate, Bill got a job. They were doing fine for a while, but this semester’s been extra rough for him. He foolishly took an extremely hard class and was struggling to find time for a tutor, to study, while still keeping his full-time hours.

Eddie had been very vocal on his distaste of the whole situation, but Bill had always tried to make him not worry. However, when Bill got an update on what his grade was, Eddie became obsessed with trying to get him to cut back on both school and work.

And trust Bill, less hours sounded amazing. But it just wasn’t possible. He refused to let Eddie pay for his half of the apartment and their bills and working was the only way he could pay it. Eddie would just have to learn to accept that.

Except, Eddie wasn’t accepting it. He was fighting it with every ounce of will in him. He hated to see Bill so exhausted and defeated. His anger wasn’t even directed at Bill, but he still took it out on him.

“You know what? I don’t want to watch. You can go to somewhere else to be miserable, I’m done.” Eddie snaps and storms to the bedroom and throws Bill his shoes and a jacket.

“Fine!”

“Fine!”

And the next thing Eddie knew, he was alone in their apartment for the first night ever.

~~~

It doesn’t take much longer for Eddie to realize he’s made a mistake. Sure, he was angry and seeing Bill was only making him angrier, but now he’s just cold, tired, and desperate to be held. Cuddling with the love of his life was like a drug, and now that he’s had it, he doesn’t think he can go without. It’s one of the reasons he always surrenders and goes to get Bill from the couch.

But this time, Bill isn’t just a room away.

He’s staying somewhere else.

Eddie doesn’t worry about where Bill is. He knows that he would have gone to one of the other loser’s place. He feels sad as he pulls out a pair of Bill’s sweatpants. They’re too big on him, but they make him think of Bill and that’s all he wants. Next, he pulls on Bill’s old baseball hoodies and climbs into the empty bed. He hugs himself and when he catches a whiff of Bill’s scent on the hoodie, tears well up in his eyes.

He hates this. He doesn’t want to sleep alone. He wants Bill.

He’s miserable as he tries to fall asleep, but the longer he lays there, the more upset he becomes. His pillow is stained with his tears now and his nose is all stuffed up. He can’t do this. He’s got to go find Bill.

He gets his phone out and squints at how bright the screen is.

He goes to his call log and calls the first loser he sees.

Bev.

The phone doesn’t ring very long before she’s answering.

“Eddie?”

“Bev?”

“What’s wrong?” Bev asks and Eddie realizes he must sound like he’s been crying if she can tell from hearing his voice.

“Is Bill there?”

There’s a silence on the other end before she responds. “Did you two get into another fight?”

“Yea. He left a couple hours ago, but I don’t know where he went,” Eddie sniffs.

“He must be at Richie and Stan’s. Mike went back home for a couple days,” She says softly. She hates to see her boys fight.

“Thanks.”

“Love you, Eddie.”

“Love you, too.”

Eddie hangs up the phone and sits up. He doesn’t feel like calling anymore and instead, just wants to see Bill as soon as possible.

He pulls on some shoes and grabs his things before he’s walking out. He calls a taxi and waits outside for it to pull up. He gives the driver the direction to the dorms.

When he gets there, he immediately makes his way to the Richie and Stan’s room. He knocks and a few seconds later, Richie opens the door. Stan is barely sitting up on one bed, that he and Richie are obviously sharing, and Bill is on the other.

“Bill,” Eddie whimpers and Bill immediately springs up from the bed. Eddie feels relief flood him when Bill falls into his stretched-out arms.

"You s-s-shouldn't have c-come this late," Bill gently scolds, cupping Eddie's face to meet his eyes.

"I just can't sleep without you anymore," Eddie whispers before burying his face back into Bill's chest. “I’m sorry, I just want you to come back home.”

“Shh, it’s o-okay. We’ll t-talk in the morning,” Bill reassures him.

Bill turns to the other two and tells them he’s leaving before he takes Eddie’s hands and leads him out of the room.

“You d-didn’t walk, did you?” Bill asks and scans his eyes over Eddie’s form. Eddie shakes his head.

“Taxi,” He mumbles, and Bill gives him a small smile. Now that he’s got Bill back, his sleepiness is catching up to him.

“Want a r-r-ride?” Bill chuckles softly and Eddie doesn’t even get on to him for teasing him, just climbs onto to Bill’s back when Bill leans down. Bill keeps a tight grip on the back of his knees and Eddie rests his chin on Bill’s shoulder. Bill walks them all the way from the dorm to the parking lot where Bill’s car is parked.

He lets Eddie off and they climb in. The car ride is silent, not because they’re still upset, but because they’re both too tired to talk.

Coming home is a huge relief and they both climb into bed without a word. The next argument can wait till another time. Now, they just want to be close to each other.

~~~

Now, they’re both 22 and they know the other is the love of their life.

They graduated just a couple months ago, and things are looking brighter and brighter. They still live with Richie and Stan from when they moved in together their junior year, but they’re starting to look for a place of their own again. They know Stan and Richie would like to have their own place too.

Eddie graduated as valedictorian and Bill managed to scrape by with honors. Even thought they had to sit separately at graduation, the losers didn’t fail to express how proud they were of Eddie’s speech. Eddie was getting pretty good at those, considering he was president of Genesis for two years.

Richie, Mike, and Stan still had one more year to go, but the losers all planned on staying in the same city, probably till even after college.

As a celebration to their success, they combined their saved-up money and travelled to Florida for a couple weeks in the summer. It was the first time for almost all of them to travel out of state and the clear sunny weather was nice change from the city’s’ cooler atmosphere.

It was really more of celebration for the graduates, but the other three were excited to follow along.

They had decided to drive, with Bill, Eddie, Richie, and Stan taking Bill’s brand-new red Toyota Prius. He was able to save up and make the down payment just a couple months ago. Bev, Ben, and Mike took Mikes truck.

The week prior had been filled with Stan and Eddie making sure they had everything, and they mean literally everything, they could possibly need. The others just let them do their thing, knowing they wouldn’t have as much of fun if they didn’t feel prepared for any kind of emergency.

Richie had been more concerned on where the best bars and clubs where. Stan’s 21st birthday was going to fall on their second day in Florida and Richie was determined to get his boy blacked out drunk considering Stan refused to drink with them while he was underage.

Ben and Mike were excited about the historical sites that they would get to see along the way, much to the annoyance of Richie.

It almost seemed like Bill, Eddie, and Bev were the only ones genuinely excited about spending a few days at the beach.

However, Bill had another reason to be excited for this trip.

He was going to propose to Eddie.

He knew that Eddie was the one for him. He’s pretty sure that he’s known since their junior year in high school, if not before then.

He had told the other losers his plan, (although he had almost considered not telling Richie) and they were so excited to help him. Ben and Bev were already engaged and were planning for their wedding to be held the following fall, so Bev was extremely excited to continue the wedding plans. But of course, Eddie had to say yes first.

It’s not that Bill thinks Eddie wouldn’t say yes, it’s just that that’s a very serious question and even though he feels ready, he can’t help but wonder if Eddie would agree with him.

They’ve talked about it before, describing the way they would like their wedding to go, when it would be, what their colors would be, and more. But daydreaming about it is a lot different than actually doing it.

Bill wants to do it on the first night there, knowing that he wouldn’t be able to go very much longer with such a huge secret.

They get there around noon and set up in the motel they’ll be staying at. They plan to take the day to explore and have dinner before heading back to the motel. However, Eddie doesn’t know that while he and Bev, and Stan are going shopping, the other four are going to the beach to set up Bill’s proposal.

Eddie returns back to the motel, feeling somewhat tired from the long day. He waits for Bill to return from whatever the others had decided to do, but the person that comes in isn’t Bill. It’s Richie.

“Hiya Eds, don’t start undressing just yet, there’s a bonfire down at the beach and we’ve all decided to go,” He says and Eddie sighs. He wasn’t really feeling up to party, but he doesn’t want to be left out of the fun.

He follows Richie down to the beach and is only slightly confused when the bonfire is just an ordinary fire that the losers have made. He doesn’t question it though and goes to sit next to Bill who wraps an arm around his shoulders. There is friendly chatter as they all talk about their days before Mike speaks up.

“Hey Eddie, what’s that behind you?”

“What?” Eddie turns to look and doesn’t see anything at first. But then he looks towards the sand it’s obvious something is carved into it.

“I can’t tell what it says. Look, there a hill over there that you might be able to read it from,” Ben suggests.

Eddie purses his lips, feeling slightly annoyed. He doesn’t really care what some stranger wrote in the sand, but they’re all looking at him expectantly, so he gets up.

He walks up the small hill and peers down at the words.

“It says, “Will you marry me?” Eddie tells them and smiles at the words. What a romantic way to propose. Eddie hopes Bill thinks of something romantic like that if he proposes. He’s thought about doing it himself a couple of times, but he’s not in any rush. It’ll happen when it happens.

Imagine his belief when he turns around to see Bill on one knee in front of him, holding a box with a ring in it and looking at Eddie with those big blue eyes.

“So? Will you marry me Eddie Kaspbrak?” He asks with absolutely no stutter.

“Oh my god, yes,” Eddie cries out when he finally realizes what’s happening and all the losers cheer as Bill jumps up and scoops Eddie into his arms and spins them. He sets him back down and Eddie offers his hand, allowing Bill to slowly slide the ring on. It’s a simple gold band and Eddie absolutely loves it. He already knows that Bill wants a matching silver one.

The rest of the night is short lived, though, because Eddie wants to spend it with his fiancé.

It’s just the beginning, though, Eddie thinks when they’re lying in bed later. He used to think he was just a small sick boy from a small town, but he’s not. He’s got a degree in the career he wants to spend the rest of his life doing, he has five amazing life-long friends, and a fiancé that he loves more than anything in the world and that loves him back. He couldn’t be happier.

 

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading! I plan on writing more, but my new project has got a lot of action and I hope you all stick around to read it! My tumblr is the-ben-handsome <3


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